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What are the Consequences of Divorce for Men?

By: James Walsh

Article Word Count: 778 words  [Comments (0)]
Total Views: 60 Views


Divorce affects the partners and their children in very fundamental and drastic ways. The family and its home cease to exist. The children are thereafter forced to live with only one parent, while the other gets visitation rights on fixed days of the month. Their upbringing becomes lopsided and they undergo a lot of insecurity and stress that may haunt them for the rest of their lives.

The partners fare no better. One of them has to move out of the family home and look for new accommodation. All assets bought by them after marriage get divided, along with family liabilities and debt such as mortgage. The partners also go through emotional pain as they see their family disintegrate in front of their eyes.

Women suffer in a major way after divorce. They usually run short of finances because most of them prefer to leave their jobs and be full-time home-makers after marriage. Their situation worsens if they have to rear kids. Single mothers really have to strive hard to make both ends meet as well as manage their home and job. Men, however, are considered by traditional wisdom to be better suited to tackle the challenges life throws at them after divorce because of their earning potential and comparative emotional toughness. Still marital separation has some deep and life-changing consequences for them too.

Division of Assets

One of the most contentious issues in divorce proceedings is the division of family assets between the partners. Women leave their careers when they get married or at least when they are taking care of children. This is a great loss of income for them not only in terms of the salary they couldn’t earn during that period but also of experience and seniority in their careers compared to their peers.

The husband, however, continues to work uninterrupted as the main bread-winner of the family. The courts keep this in mind when deciding upon the division of assets and often lean in favour of women who get a lion’s share of the property. The men thus end up considerably poorer and have to make a start all over again to regain their financial status.

Job Issues

When men divorce, they go through a lot of stress. They are also away from office for many days when they are busy fighting their case in the court. When they are actually present at work, they are unable to concentrate and their productivity goes down drastically. Their performance suffers. All this does not go unnoticed at office. Many of such divorce-struck men are unable to retain their jobs as they are quietly told to leave or look for some other employment more suitable to their situation. Quite a few want to get away from it all and take a long vacation without pay to heal emotionally and get their life back on track.

Living Away from the Kids

Child custody is perhaps the most hotly contested issue in divorce, perhaps, even more than division of assets. Many men are very attached to their children. When child custody is granted to mothers, they are devastated. They are no longer able to meet their children every day and all their visits and contact with them are strictly regulated by law. Most fathers who are in love with their children do not take kindly to this forced separation and hence suffer emotionally.

Single Parenthood

There are many cases in which child custody is handed over to fathers. While the fathers may welcome this opportunity to live with their children, it certainly puts a huge burden on them. They have to manage not only their jobs but also take care of domestic chores, such as laundry and kitchen. It is essential for them to hire a baby-sitter who can look after the kids when they are away in office. Their social life gets drastically curtailed and even their Sundays go in doing household stuff that has been pending for the whole week.

Emotional Consequences

It is a myth that men are not emotional. Most of them are. It is only that due to social conditioning, they have learnt to hide their inner feelings. They also deliberately try to keep a calm exterior because they know that people who are looking up to them for support will panic seeing them get emotional. Showing emotions is, after all, still looked upon among men as a sign of weakness.

When divorce occurs, many husbands blame themselves for it and become guilt-ridden. Others may become angry and look for revenge. It is common for men to become depressed and insecure after marital separation.

Author Info

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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