Spam Spasms & Spamocidal Mania

Grab this articles

<h1>Spam Spasms & Spamocidal Mania</h1><p> <br /><br /><br /> Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations:<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for the Advancement of<br /><br /><br /> People Who Hate Spam)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle<br /><br /><br /> Choice)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for the Advancement of People Who<br /><br /><br /> Really Really Really Hate Spam)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It<br /><br /><br /> Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears)<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource<br /><br /><br /> Directory Services.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS,<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to<br /><br /><br /> present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited<br /><br /><br /> commercial email:<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Spam!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now<br /><br /><br /> opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single,<br /><br /><br /> unified organization:<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> The Spammish Inquisition!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our<br /><br /><br /> Grand Inquisatrix!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head<br /><br /><br /> would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Don't think so.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things, too, like<br /><br /><br /> pedophiles and Nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat<br /><br /><br /> when I was seven.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> But spam... hooboy!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> I believe we should have a constitutional amendment allowing<br /><br /><br /> cruel and unusual punishment in the case of spammers. Maybe that<br /><br /><br /> tummy thing like the Japanese do when they get depressed.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> As with drugs, mere possession of bulk emailing software should<br /><br /><br /> result in the immediate confiscation of the computer it was on,<br /><br /><br /> as well as any nice clothes, jewelry, or lawn statuary that<br /><br /><br /> might have been purchased with spam profits.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Just thinking about sending spam should be illegal, like joking<br /><br /><br /> about bombs in an airport. If I get to be Grand Inquisatrix,<br /><br /><br /> I'll have my own force of men-in-black dudes to sniff out<br /><br /><br /> spamsters and be really mean to them and call them names until<br /><br /><br /> they promise to be good little Netizens again.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> It's for their own good.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> IN CLOSING...<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Having looked at the Websites of some of the anti-spam<br /><br /><br /> crusaders, I know that I am not alone in my revulsion, disgust<br /><br /><br /> and utter skin-crawling contempt for spam.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Like them, I have turned a blind-eye to more mundane problems<br /><br /><br /> like hunger, illiteracy, disease, country music and poverty so<br /><br /><br /> as to focus on the true menace plaguing our cyber-society.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> If you wish to support my crusade, you may do so by sending me<br /><br /><br /> $99, and as a free gift I'll send you a CD with the email<br /><br /><br /> addresses of 40 million Netizens eagerly awaiting news of your<br /><br /><br /> latest product or service.<br /><br /><br /> More <a href="http://www.articlesroom.com">free articles</a> from <a href="http://www.articlesroom.com">http://www.articlesroom.com</a>

Related articles

• Factors To Consider When You Get A Mortgage
• Bypass the Legal Hassles with Dallas DWI Attorney
• Understanding the role of the Auburn DUI attorney
• Questions that you need to ask the Alabama DUI lawyer before you hire them
• Hire the Best DUI Attorney Birmingham
• Drench in the Regal Ambiance with Portugal Holiday Packages
• Been in an accident? Get the compensation you deserve
• Mistakes you must avoid while hiring a Mobile DUI attorney
• Facts about Tuscaloosa DUI Attorney you should be aware of
• Who Else Wants Backlinking For A Good Domain?
• Custom Essay Writing - Not An Issue Anymore!
• Why Irvine Homes keep their value
• Well-Liked Kinds Of Mortgage
• How To Buy Term Papers Online?
• Long-Term Gains At Home Financial Loans
• Is Your Dog Really Pool Safe?
• Car insurance quotes comparison – Things that can help me in getting the discounted car insurance rates
• Online car insurance comparison
• Uncontested Divorce Proceedings in Atlanta
• Finding an Atlanta Divorce Lawyer
• Long-Term Increases From Home Loans
• The Different Kinds of Traffic Advisors You Can Choose from
• Atlanta Divorce Attorney
• Why Online Dating Does Not Work
• Important Functions of Police Siren Lights

Newest Articles

• Reviews on Different Business Catalog Printing Process
• Selling Your Experience
• Where Cable Lighting Should Be Used?
• Level Up Your Business Cards A Notch Higher
• Pedaling to wash clothes
• Basic Adventure Travel Check List
• eConn Resume Processing Solution only at $249
• Advanced Kiosk Systems to Compact Tough Conditions
• Freestanding Fire Pits: Now for Entertainment and Grilling
• How to Keep Your Fire Pit Handy for Winter Use
• Mr. Ashok Mahindru
• Propecia Prescription To Give Your Hair Grow Back
• Audemars Piguet Replica Watches-A Much Better Quality At Fashion-replica.com
• Choose the best elitemakeup foundation
• Hublot Replica Watch -The preferred Christmas gift at the highest levels
• Pass a Drag Test: Pass a Social Responsibility
• Tag Heuer Replica At Fashion-replica.com – The Best Gifts For Christmas
• Passing a Drag Test Is the First Step
• You May Run but You Can not Hide From a Drug Test
• Event management and advertising services from Infra Design
• Utah Ski Resort Real Estate And Lodging Snow Basin And Powder
• Drugs in the Field of Sports
• Do Your Kid pass a Drug Test?
• Get that Catalog Printing Right
• Understand Exactly What Your Business Has to Offer

Most Popular Articles

• 12 Golden rules for every Dog owner
• 17 Tips That'll Safeguard You and Your Family From Dog Bites
• 14 Tips for Crate Training Your New Puppy
• 3 Simple Steps For A Healthier Dog
• 3 Tips For Dealing With Dog Emergencies
• Generating a positive ROI from PPC
• Search Engine Promotion - your options explained
• Submit site to announce it to the world!
• Exercise Bikes – How Far They Have Come
• Mortgage Equity Loans With Multiple Benefits
• Javascript Basics 01
• Home Equity Online Loans become more popular
• What Does Your Body Language Tell?
• Let Your Business Grow By Invoice discounting in the UK
• Uncommon Facts / Rules of English Language
• Misunderstandings Due To Accents
• Diabetes and Your Eyesight
• How to Prevent Online Identity Theft
• Learn to Speak Basic Chinese (Mandarin) Words and Phrases
• Pancreas Transplants - A Solution For Type 1 Diabetes Sufferers?
• Learn Korean: Part 1 - Asian Languages and Language Families
• Tips To Learn English
• Learn Korean: Part 2 - Social Status in Culture
• IELTS: Facts Not Many People Know
• Aphasia: The Cruelest Language Barrier